GF, Wives, "Society" and collecting Transformers

[C_Shewins]

Originally Posted by dark_rage

If she ever forces you to sell part of your collection, you can always make it fair for her to sell her bags or designer jeans collection, since they can be resold for a good price too, haha!

LOL, good one~! But nah~ She won't force me to sell my collection, in fact she bought me some transformers before, haha~

[protoform_ironhide]

Does colleting transformers really can get you bad relationship with gf? I don't have a gf yet, haha.

[Protoman]

Let me give a little advice to all the Transformers collectors out there. Specially the insane, completiest, ingulfs your house ones like me.

Me, I race cars and formula from time to time and through that meet a lot of women in after parties and all kinds of social gatherings. Through all my 100s of relationships (Meesum can account for my frequent girlfriend switches) I have learned a thing or two on how to go about this and how it also partakes to life afterwards.

First off. When you meet them, don't talk about Transformers. "Don't wear Optimus Prime" on your shelve. Bragging to a girl you have 1700 TF toys is not going to get them interested, currently, they are ignorant to your passion and who you are and it could only be taken as some super nerdy comic book stereotype. Work another angle, something that is stark contast to that, for me, it is my racing. I have always done sports in my life (specially on high school team) which breed a jock image and thus the expectation of a TF collect is almost impossible. After they get to know you more, try for a date, but again, even on the date, don't touch base about your fellow Autobots and Decepticons. After she REALLY gets to like you, then you drop the "Unicron Bomb". For me, it's bringing her to my house. By playing it off as if it's not anything major to you, she will just see it as say "collecting cars or painting" just those cars transform and those paintings are done by Hasbro hands. From that point it's all up to chance, some get a little overwhelmed "Riiiigghht..." Some think it's cool (mind you she might complain to her best friend later that her John Jock is really The Comic Book guy from Simpsons). It's all up to chance. But it also matters how important this hobby is to you. Which brings me to my next topic.

Your loyalties to Transformers and how imporant it really is to you.

I find the true test of this hobby IS the girlfriend and the social life. Let's get serious here, not a lot Transformers fans I met are social butterflies, some a lot of them use Transformers to "fill the gap" of their boring lives. A good friend of mine Robert, big Transformers and DC figure collector for years, his house... COVERED in Batman. Then one day, he got a girlfriend. I got a phone call, he is selling it all. The hole has been filled. So you got to figure out if Transformers is just filling a gap or is it your passion. Ooooh how many times I have dragged a woman to Toys R us to "check for stuff". and hey, if she does not like it.... their is more fish in the sea. Any advice guys just wing it over.

[Nightscrabbler]

The important thing is balance. It's okay to be a fan of something, you just need to keep a reasonable limit, and also balance that with other worthwhile activities. You don't want to become too focused in one area because you'll miss out on a lot and also alienate other people because they feel they won't be able to connect with you.

[Shepp]

Originally Posted by Shan

The important thing is balance. It's okay to be a fan of something, you just need to keep a reasonable limit, and also balance that with other worthwhile activities. You don't want to become too focused in one area because you'll miss out on a lot and also alienate other people because they feel they won't be able to connect with you.

this is very very true and would apply to any type of hobby, be it transformers collecting, stamp collecting, wood carving, sports, metalwork, etc.

its also important to be able to venture out of your comfort zone from time to time. not only for your own health, but also to broaden your interests and take part in things your partner and friends enjoy.

i mean, just in the last year i've tried brussel sprouts again, and i no longer wretch at the sight of them.

plus, there are some romantic comedy chick flicks that are actually pretty twisted and funny for a male audience as well.

my fiance has really broadened her horizons since we started going out, moreso than i have. i got her to eat chinese food, which was a huge leap for her. its each of our own weird little worlds that helps the other to grow.

[RedOktobre]

Originally Posted by Protoman

Let me give a little advice to all the Transformers collectors out there. Specially the insane, completiest, ingulfs your house ones like me.

Me, I race cars and formula from time to time and through that meet a lot of women in after parties and all kinds of social gatherings. Through all my 100s of relationships (Meesum can account for my frequent girlfriend switches) I have learned a thing or two on how to go about this and how it also partakes to life afterwards.

First off. When you meet them, don't talk about Transformers. "Don't wear Optimus Prime" on your shelve. Bragging to a girl you have 1700 TF toys is not going to get them interested, currently, they are ignorant to your passion and who you are and it could only be taken as some super nerdy comic book stereotype. Work another angle, something that is stark contast to that, for me, it is my racing. I have always done sports in my life (specially on high school team) which breed a jock image and thus the expectation of a TF collect is almost impossible. After they get to know you more, try for a date, but again, even on the date, don't touch base about your fellow Autobots and Decepticons. After she REALLY gets to like you, then you drop the "Unicron Bomb". For me, it's bringing her to my house. By playing it off as if it's not anything major to you, she will just see it as say "collecting cars or painting" just those cars transform and those paintings are done by Hasbro hands. From that point it's all up to chance, some get a little overwhelmed "Riiiigghht..." Some think it's cool (mind you she might complain to her best friend later that her John Jock is really The Comic Book guy from Simpsons). It's all up to chance. But it also matters how important this hobby is to you. Which brings me to my next topic.

Your loyalties to Transformers and how imporant it really is to you.

I find the true test of this hobby IS the girlfriend and the social life. Let's get serious here, not a lot Transformers fans I met are social butterflies, some a lot of them use Transformers to "fill the gap" of their boring lives. A good friend of mine Robert, big Transformers and DC figure collector for years, his house... COVERED in Batman. Then one day, he got a girlfriend. I got a phone call, he is selling it all. The hole has been filled. So you got to figure out if Transformers is just filling a gap or is it your passion. Ooooh how many times I have dragged a woman to Toys R us to "check for stuff". and hey, if she does not like it.... their is more fish in the sea. Any advice guys just wing it over.

Hey Protoman,

I read your post and re-read it at least 3 times! I laughed hard at least twice!!!! The line about your friend, Robert, pushed me over the edge!

Kudos to you! I absolutely and positively agree with ALL the points in your post!

You are totally right! You have applied "Darwin's Theory" very well! In order to survive and do well, one has to adapt to the environment!

Like you said, meeting people is often about "stereotypes" & "first impressions". It is extremely unfair, but is absolutely true. Girls, guys, people, ... everyone including fellow TF collectors will undoubtedly, unknowingly, and naturally formulate and create "impressions and interpretations" of people we meet within the first 30 seconds to a few minutes. Often, these "impressions and interpretations" are based on insufficient information. As a result, we naturally apply "biases" and "stereotypes" which clouds our judgement of people who we are unfamiliar. Let's face, a typically young male bachelor looking for a gf or even just "friends" will not score a lot of points with "niche hobbies" or "unexciting hobbies".

Like you said, many (not all) TF collectors tend to be more "cerebral" and "introverted". Although society values people who are "cerebral", the same society (especially girls) does not reward "introverted" people who are shy, reserved, passive, etc. If TF collectors were truly "social butterflies", how do they find time to surf TF forums like this? Holy crap, I can name a few guys who are always freaking monitoring this forum like a hawk! I'm very embarrassed to say that I am one of these "hawks" at times too!!!

Getting back to "Darwin's Theory"... I agree with you completely that one has to employ different strategies and tactics to obtain our objectives. The skills that we employ in collecting TFs are useless in the "realm of courting girls, meeting people, etc." One has to employ a different mindset, "wear a different cap (like you for example, you wear your 'racing cap' in social gatherings)" in achieving different objectives - meeting girls for instance.

Again, I agree with your point. We all have to perform some "introspection" or examine ourselves in detail. Are we collecting TFs because it is a passion? Or do we collect because it is a mere substitute for a "hole" in our lives???

You got me thinking too! Although my gf verbally accepts my hobby, I suspect that she actually only "tolerates" my hobby. Moreover, I suspect that I sometimes push her over the edge a bit. More than once, she complained about accompanying me to Toys R Us to check out the latest TFs. I sense that my addiction may have overwhelmed me at times. Knowing is "half the battle"...

[oldskooler]

I haven't read all the posts, just the few most recent ones.

I have been dating my boyfriend for four years now, and I'd have to say over the last few years I think I'm just as excited about transformers as he is. We went and saw the movie last week and I want to go again!

As for your girlfriend not enjoying going to Toys R Us she must be crazy! I've been about three times in the last few days, my boyfriend works and I'm currently not working so I've been going to tru, walmart and other stores to keep an eye out for new toys for him. I was at two stores today, and when I got home and told him, he wanted to go but wasn't feeling very well and I was more disapointed then he was, even though I had already been today.

I accept his interest in his collection, heck I've even thought about buying a glass display case to put them in the living room.

I guess I understand because I still have all my toys from the 80's (though they are currently in my parents basement as we didn't move them across country when we came out) my little ponies, strawberry shortcakes, playmobile, lego, etc. I think it would be so awesome to have it all displayed in the house somewhere.

but hey that's just me

[Protoman]

Originally Posted by RedOktobre

Hey Protoman,
You got me thinking too! Although my gf verbally accepts my hobby, I suspect that she actually only "tolerates" my hobby. Moreover, I suspect that I sometimes push her over the edge a bit. More than once, she complained about accompanying me to Toys R Us to check out the latest TFs. I sense that my addiction may have overwhelmed me at times. Knowing is "half the battle"...

Thanks Red, it's something I have been trying to educate my friends about for years. In my "comic book" social circle (I have 2 due to my racing lifestyle outside of the city on weekends), none of them have girlfriends and I try my best to educate them about the "real world". I don't know if you saw pictures of me at TF con, but I was the only guy in the Generation 1 trivia competition without a Transformers shirt (I was wearing a more dressy casual top), and yet I won the trivia (Under the hardcore catagory no less). So you can be a big TF dork inside and BE well dressed and presentable and the girls will still dig it. I believe it was Shan that said it, "It's about balance". I think for every Transformers tech spec you memorize, take a shower, shave your beard, do your hair, loose that weight, peel off that Nintendo 64 T-shirt you got in 1997.... yes yes I know it may sound superficial, but that's how the world is, specially most women who are brainwashed by magazines and popular media. But have no fear, over time they will get to know who you really are and learn to love it or atleast not hate it cause it's something important to you.



If you met me in High School or College, would you think I would be the owner of all that behind me??? That is how you should play it.

[C_Shewins]

Originally Posted by Protoman

If you met me in High School or College, would you think I would be the owner of all that behind me??? That is how you should play it.

Good Story, Protoman. Is that really you in front of all those transformers? You don't look like the owner if that is you. haha~

[Protoman]

Originally Posted by C_Shewins

Good Story, Protoman. Is that really you in front of all those transformers? You don't look like the owner if that is you. haha~

Haha yes that is me. My story as a Transformers fan is a good example of real world social success with good balance of our awesome hobby. We can all do this if we applied ourselves. One can be a ladies man and be able to memorize episodes of Super God Masterforce.