Transformers: Dark of the Moon Review Thread (Spoilers)

[Nightscrabbler]

Transformers 3: Darker and Moonier.

I thought to myself before seeing this film that perhaps this time there was a possibility that to some small degree, I would actually like it. Well, I didn't. But I didn't hate it either. And now I will tell you why my opinion of this film elicited a different reaction (i.e. not one of extreme disdain) from me than its two predecessors.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon is in one way, a work a lot closer to what I might have wanted a Transformers film to aspire to be than Transformers and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. It is not that the portrayal of any character (be it human or robot) is good, nor is the plot good, nor is the action good. Make no mistake: these things aren't good. Making a case for why they are better or worse seems pointless; when the asymptote is close to zero, from which side we approach hardly matters. The only thing that is better about this film than the first two is its tone. From the start of the movie, a tone is established that I don't remember seeing in this franchise since Blackout's initial base attack that fooled me and countless others into once thinking that perhaps they had not screwed this film franchise up the way they marvellously did.

As usual, they would break away for some silly human comedy moments, but fortunately, this time these jokes are not in such bad taste that it forces you to cover your kids' eyes. Was it funny? Not really. But that's okay, we never needed to laugh it up during an end times invasion. The quantity of these jokey commercial breaks is less overall, so there is more in the movie building on its actual plot. And yes, the film has a plot. It is a plot with a G1 flavour, for sure, however still quite poorly put together. Of course, plot coherence and basic logic need not apply in this film franchise, where another sequel can always just retroactively explain a new historical coverup, which would address one plot problem and open 7 others in the process.

Unlike Blackout's Qatar base attack, or the Bonecrusher highway scene, or perhaps even Dirt Devastator, this film doesn't have any particularly interesting action moments. It really doesn't. Some connoisseurs might tell you it does, but with everything exploding everywhere throughout this movie, haven't we seen it all?

A lot of stuff happens. In fact, stuff is constantly happening. Very little of it is exciting or interesting. There are a few, and I can count them on one hand, cool things that will appeal to Transformers fans and no one else. But if you want your inner fanboy (and disgraceful outer fanboy for some of you) to rejoice, it is difficult, given that not one Transformer is handled well. The Transformers get characterization, they are sentient, but none of them will become your favourite character. Unless, of course, you like Decepticons who do nothing and Autobots that are deplorable role models.

One has to wonder about the power structure in the Decepticon ranks. You have Shockwave, whose personality is nonexistent, yet is obviously far more powerful than Megatron, Starscream and The Fallen ever were. He creates 'shockwaves', which is the kind of linear thinking one has come to expect from this director. But you might also draw a line to the conclusion that Shockwave is the big threat of the movie. Wrong. There is no one central enemy in this film. Megatron, in spite of his sinister cloak, never regains the menace he even had while frozen in ice. Starscream is a weasel, which is just one of the aspects of his personality that we saw among his Animated clones. Soundwave is, well, useless, and was probably better off staying in satellite mode. So, who is our nemesis on the Nemesis? The writers have placed the enemy within, on the side of good, which might have been a poignant remark if there had been at least one redeeming character the audience could side with. But who can cheer for this Optimus Prime? The savage protagonist so blinded by rage that he is more a vigilante than Batman has ever been. Who is in Sam's corner? Since he just wants to be a hero, though he does nothing heroic this time. Where are the good guys? Is it Carly? Sam's girlfriend who at first comes across as someone who might be on the side of evil. There is no good guy, no hero, no right or wrong.

If taken in the best light, this was something like The Ultimate Doom. It could have been, had they picked up on a few essential details. But even that mark, one set by a cartoon with no reference material, was missed. But hey, it seemed like they tried, and if you're the kind of person that hands out points for effort, which I most certainly am not, then you might have given this a passing grade. If you think the plot made a lick of sense, I challenge you to write a timeline outlining what Megatron's plan was from start to finish. Just note, if you suffer a brain hemorrhage, I'm not liable.

I could easily list a host of specific problems with this movie. I think this review is rather generous because it is only tracing the surface. If it is a better movie than the previous two, it's only by virtue of omission. If the first two movies had been like this one, it would've been no worse than any other bad comic book franchise.

If I had to summarize Dark of the Moon in one word, it would be: pointless. Amazingly, that's still an improvement over Revenge of the Fallen.

So, that ends this era. I am glad it's over. I just hope it stays over.

[Black Cat]

I'm gonna move my comment here too. I don't think we were watching the same movie.

On a better note, anyone notice that when Optimus and Sentinel were driving into the desert, after transforming, Optimus' trailer vanishes?

[Nightscrabbler]

Originally Posted by Black Cat

I'm gonna move my comment here too. I don't think we were watching the same movie.

Hmm. Well, I was sitting on one side of Gord and you were on the other, so he must be some kind of cosmic film appreciation realm firewall. Even if you were pleased with the action scenes (most subjective point of contention perhaps), to me, that doesn't change a whole lot. Action is like spice; it can only make good food better, it can't make bad food good. Though it can sometimes disguise a bad taste. As for the other stuff, I don't know how any of the characters could be considered great.

[Black Cat]

I would appreciate it if you did not assume what I did and did not like. I did not post a full review, it was just my overall feelings of the movie.

[Nightscrabbler]

Originally Posted by Black Cat

I would appreciate it if you did not assume what I did and did not like. I did not post a full review, it was just my overall feelings of the movie.

I said if. As said in parentheses, "the most subjective point of contention", you weren't very specific about what we didn't see that was the same, so I inferred.

[stef2130]

they shoud have put more autobot like prowl and sunstreker
and not kill somme


and for the 4 if paramont whant it {they shoud} put unicron

[Black Cat]

I highlighted the good points, you really didn't have anything good to say about anything. Which has been your opinion on all three movies.

[Nightscrabbler]

Originally Posted by Black Cat

I highlighted the good points, you really didn't have anything good to say about anything. Which has been your opinion on all three movies.

Not exactly true--my reviews on Transformers 1 said a number of good things. And in this review I talked about it being an improvement in its tone. But not exactly untrue either, as I was disappointed 3 times. It's not a grade 5 book report, where I necessarily have to find positive elements just to be credible. It's a review, if it's interesting to anyone, that's fine, if not, that's fine.

[Commandoclone87]

Originally Posted by Cheers Ian

Uhhh...no

Ferrari - Dino
Blue Mercedes - Q

Seriously.

Credits state that Que is Wheeljack. I figure it is a code name homage to "Q" from the Bond films (being Mr. Gadgets & Gizmos)

[Robimus]

I find its very hard to guage at incredibly negative or incredibly positive review when one doesn't know what kind of films an individual may, or may not, like.

I won't be seeing this movie until Saturday but I'd imagine it delivers on some levels for Transformers fans.

One thing I don't get at all is the desire to continue watching movie franchises one doesn't enjoy, be it free or not.

One instance that comes to mind for me is Iron Man. I hated the first film, which meant when the second one rolled around I didn't, even to this day, bother watching it.

Same with the Spiderman series. I got to film 2 in that franchise because I didn't hate film one, but then gave up completely when I saw what came along.

Film franchises are film franchises. If you hated film one then, minus a new director and cast, you'll likely hate film 2, and 3, so on.