Damn, guess Winnipeg lost out..........
NHL Approves Relocation of Coyotes to Mexico City
Scottsdale, AZ- Gary Bettman and the NHL have finally found a resolution to the Phoenix Coyotes saga. After months of trying to keep the team in Scottsdale, they will finally be moving, but not to Winnipeg.
Bettman approved the sale of the team to JoaquÃ*n "El Chapo" Guzmán, Mexico's most notorious drug cartel. Early estimates indicate that Guzmán paid about 1,201,300.00 Mexican Pesos, which only amounts to about $100,000 USD.
"After the success of the NHL teams in Florida and Texas, we decided to go even more south, and expand into a third country, Mexico. The great nation of Mexico has the perfect demographic features to encompass such a great hockey team. I'm also confident that the Mexican people would spend large amounts of money to see such allstars like Shane Doan" replied Bettman after being asked about the situation. "After the North American Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA) was signed in 1994, I've always wanted to expand into Mexican territory."
"Scientifically it's not even possible to have a sheet of ice so far down south, but I guess Bettman has made up his mind" NHL Deputy Commissioner Bill Daly explains. "We're planning to have the stadium right in the center Mexico City. That way we can ship mass amounts of sombreros and burritos to the arena for minimal cost. Along with cheap alcohol, this should be enough to build a large fan base."
"Yep. Downtown Mexico City will also have a variety of great nightlife for the players after a practice or game. Having the arena in such a desirable spot will also allow for players to meet and sign autographs for local fans. Plus, its not like they'll be getting any less attention than they did in Phoenix." Bettman told media.
JoaquÃ*n Guzmán was not available for comment on his recent acquisition, some members of Guzman's gang were at the press conference.