Nocturn's Obscure Transformers Reviews

[Nocturn]

Still waiting on those requests, oy!

#5
&
#5A

Transformers: The Movie
Scout Class
Armorhide

&

Fucking pointless stupid pieces of plastic.

Ahem.



So when the first transformers movie came out, the basic/scout size class was sort of shifted aside. At the same price were Real Gear Robots (which I love), however, south of the border, the Retail Giant Target was getting an exclusive line of scouts repainted from Energon and Cybertron toys. As I did not have many of these toys at the time, I was significantly sadface about the whole thing. However, one day a Superstore flyer came in the mail advertising these toys. As I am not allowed in Superstore, this made me sadface (don't ask... long story, skeletons in my closet, etc, etc.). But then they showed up everywhere and started clogging shelves like a Big Mac to TRU's arteries, which made me happyface!

This toy, Armohide, is a repaint of the original toy of the same name. Like many of these scout class TFTM toys, they lacked any sort of insignia for whatever reason. Though this guy's packaging depicted him as an Autobot, he really doesn't have any marking to distinguish him.

Evil Clone Armorhide? Hmmm....



So he's a cool little truck. I always wondered why huge altmodes get made at tiny scales like this (Cosmos, Seaspray, Powerglide, ROTF Depthcharge, etc.).



He's got a tow-arm, which I guess manages to give him something other than just the bare hitch and whatnot.



BOOM.

Unlike most cyberkey gimmicks, this one is only active while the key remains in the slot; sometimes it'll be a bitch and spit the key right out.



Pretty little non-launching missiles, why can't every toy have you?

http://images.wikia.com/transformers...d/Tf_sound.ogg

(PS: I'm expecting you guys to click this link, everytime. Yessssssss.)



So take a gander at this bad mothertrucker. Like I said: no insignia, save for the S7 on his gun (pow pow)



Bad. Ass.


SO

I said something about a 5A, didn't I? Well...

When I started taking pics for Armorhide, I remembered his damn picky gimmick that requires key shoved in his slot (dirty jokes, ahoy!), so I went to the drawer of unwanted accessories to find his, his being a unique one.

And...



What. The. Fuck.

All these things really do it push a button, I could do that myself. Hasbro just needed a little collectible piece of shit, caus ethe kids love that. Honestly, look at them all. It's madness. Such a waste. Like, plastic and paint gets wasted on these and then we get a naked ROTF Jolt who has a grand total of like three paint apps? That plastic could've built me a bigger toy, dammit!

But, much as I like to bitch, these at least do something. Not like...



And those are just some of the ones in the drawer, I'm sure there are more scattered all over.

Like, what the hell.

These are completely worthless.

They do dick all.

I want to meet the exec who gave these things the okay and kick him square in the nards.

FIN

[Nocturn]

#6

Beast Wars
Transmetal 2
Deluxe
Scourge

First in the mini-series "Transmetal-wHO?"



Now, I know what you're thinking: what the holy hell is this abomination? The overall impression people tend to give on this figure is... less than friendly. Yet, Nocturn over here considers this as one of his all-time favorite transformers. The more I play with it, the more I like it. I got this toy knowing full well public opinion of it, and there's a sort of charm this guy gives me. Maybe I just want to root for him because he's an underdog, but whatever. My only complaint is his flaky chrome. Still, in my eyes, he's gorgeous.

Speaking of eyes:



Spark crystal! One of the better uses of this little gimmick, most times it was hidden somewhere stupid and pointless, but this one is cool.



He stands quite well actually, thanks to not having excessive joints in his insect legs.

You see that red plunger between his wings? Push it in and...



Wham!


There are two missiles which each have their own wing. While the right one is just for storage, the left one is spring loaded and fires when the wings flip over, tres cool.

Fires hella far too.



I"m sure if the blankets weren't there, it would have flown right off the bed and hit MP Prime in the face. This was a ~5foot distance, fairly impressive IMO.

http://images.wikia.com/transformers...d/Tf_sound.ogg



Clashing colours? What are those?

Honestly, it flows well enough for me. This guy also started the dog-leg craze which was used by BM Cheetor and half of the TFTM and ROTF bots. Just saying, real trendsetter.



The spark crystal is now in his left shoulderpad... as it that made any sense. Oh well. Not that you can tell from the pic anyway. Too... much.... zoom...



Aw yeah. That's what I'm talking about. The missles can be held in his left hand as clubs/swords/other melee weapon. All the insect legs on his left are balljointed, so he can easily hold some smaller maximals, or even ones his size.



(Note: Multiple angles are always cool)



Clashing swords/Foreshadowing....?

FIN

[Malwave]

I'm with ya on the cyber keys man xD the only ones that I keep with the figure are Cybertron Snarl and Exillion

XD the rest are gathering dust on my desk XD

why didn't they just make like...a four pack with one of each planet in them so you only had to buy one of those and you could work all your Cybertron figures XD

[Detective Barricade]

Review #5: Hey! It's Shattered Glass Huffer!

And that's the sad, sad thing with TM2 Scourge. He molts like crazy if you even breathe near him.

Will the foreshadowing become reality? The suspense is KILLING me!

[Mighty_Galvatron]

Some requests huh?

How 'bout that BM bot you have as your avatar?

...mmmmm, how about Magmatron?

[Nocturn]

Mmm... yes, Snarl is particularily obscure... and he was on the short list already.

But Magmatron? HUGE in Japan!

(dick jokes)

[GMfan]

Review for Magmatron better have orgy mode.

[Mighty_Galvatron]

Originally Posted by GMfan101

Review for Magmatron better have orgy mode.

L

O

L

The most righteous statement I've heard today.

[Stapler]

I don't mind the cyberkeys and energon chips so much. I like to pretend that the keys are some kind of data file while the chips are a lame energon cube stand-in.

[Nocturn]

#7
(by request)
Beast Wars Neo
Ultra Class?
Magmatron

*Disclaimer: I, from now on, will not resize the images, as I am simply too lazy
*note: Too many pictures for one post, Beast mode covered in this one
*note: toy is identical to beast machines version

NOW THAT ALL THAT'S OUT OF THE WAY



That's right: three beast modes. Skysaur, Landsaur, and Seasaur (aka Quetzocoatlus, Gigantosaurus, Elasmosaurus). Real beauties, they's is.



STOP FIGHTING, I'M TRYING TO TAKE PICTURES OF YOU.



That's better.

Wait a minute, why is skysaur all the way back there?



MISSILES! Red are stored under Skysaur's wings while round are stored within Seasaur. The knife-shaped one goes inside Landsaur's tail.

Five missiles, one launcher.



I am dead serious, the launcher is in his throat. BW Megatron was only 3 years old by this point, and still they couldn't resist the homage. Oy.



Flip-flip



(squeeze rear flippers together)



Flap-flap



(tug on tail)

COMBINED BEAST MODE.


Aww fuck it. It's not any good and it takes to much to achieve it anyway. Godamned waste of time.

CONSENSUAL SEX MODE (FOR GMFAN101 <3)



Yes, Skysaur is a gurl



To be continued...