Why people don't say NO

[wervenom]

Originally Posted by Shockwave 75

I recently had 2 people express interest in stuff I was selling only to turn around and tell me that they didn't have any money to buy!
One after I was ready to ship!!

Funny that just happened to me. Person asked for A LOT of stuff (like 20 figures) and asked for shipping. When it was all packed he said he didn't have any money. Thankfully it was not a board member but if you can't afford it then don't ask

[Jove]

Originally Posted by elburrito

I see this as just a symptom of an epidemic of failing courtesy and civility in the world. I speculate that after spending so much time inquiring about an item, sometimes people feel embarrassed to follow-up if they change their mind.

Whatever the cause, it is too bad because it chips away at the enjoyment of interacting with other people just a little.

"This is capitalism", "dog-eat-dog", "nature of dealing" are all poor excuses for lack of courtesy and civility. After all, at the end of the day, what keeps life at all interesting is interacting with other people.

I believe that it has a lot to do with the fact that people avoid unpleasant situations as much as possible.
Telling someone that you are interested in something of theirs and then changing your mind basically feels like you are "rejecting" them in some way. Which would mean that you might face some questions as to why (which might be embarrassing, or uncomfortable) and people would rather avoid feeling embarrassed or uncomfortable. The fact that it affects the sellers either doesn't enter their minds, or they don't care.

So: like JJwankenobi says, they are "basically inconsiderate cowards". Although I might amend that to say that they might be "oblivious cowards" instead. But the "coward" part is likely bang on, either because they are too oblivious to realize that they inconvenience people, or they are enough of an asshat not to care.

[BoNKerS]

Originally Posted by mcmus

I am not worry about my stuffs will sell or not. My take is "be a man and have the courtesy to tell me I AM GOING TO PASS OR DROP from the deal." ��

LOLOL I totally agree!

[Deception]

I don't have a problem with that. If they don't answer back i always just assume they are not interested. What I have a problem is holding on to figures and end up getting back and forth pm/emails and then flops. If you want a figure to be put on hold, I'm expecting you to buy it. otherwise what's the point, to miss out on other potential deals that could have been done?

[Xtreme987]

Originally Posted by Jove

.... asshat ....

^
My new favourite word.

[Goaliebot]

I don't believe I've ever done this, at least I hope not.

That said, if I play "put myself in someone's mind" with it, I'd guess at least sometimes it's confrontation avoidance: believing that sending a "sorry, I'll pass" will invite an argumentative or angry reply and thus a confrontation (albeit via PMs).

Again, just theorizing. I have had some difficulty at shows extracting myself from a table after asking for a price or a question: some folks go for the pushy sell tactic and it can be uncomfortable. Even if they don't, there's not a lot of polite responses to hearing a ridiculously high price quoted... "I'll have to think about that" is my go-to.

[Robimus]

I see this thread, and the Kijiji thread, and the ebay threads, and that is why I only sell at conventions and toy shows

[papavader]

Originally Posted by mcmus

I understand a deal is only a deal if both parties agress at the end.
So...
I don't have an issue if you ask me if the item is still available and tell me "NO, I will pass" at the end.
I don't have an issue if you ask me all the questions afterward and tell me "NO, I will pass" at the end.
I don't have an issue even you ask me how much is the shipping and tell me "NO, I will pass" at the end.
I also don't have an issue even we have discussed how much is the deal (figures + postage) and tell me "NO, I will pass" at the end.
OH, one more, I also don't have an issue if you tell me to come and pick up and tell me "NO, I will pass" afterward. I understand people can change their decision.

BUT I DO HAVE a hard time to understand why some people will not do the very last step "NO, I will pass" or something like that if they decide not to proceed or continue the conversation. Instead, they just disappear over the internet thin air. HAHAHA

Guilty of that, sorry! You will have news this week! Promise! :sadpanda:

[Megatron75]

I was in the discussion phase of a purchase transaction with someone some time ago but the more we talked about the figure the more "issues" regarding the condition seemed to come to light. I like my figures to be as minty as possible so I told them that I had to pass on it since a particular flaw, that would have really bothered me, came to light in our most recent exchange. I never heard back from them again, despite having liaised with them previously on a number of other transformers related matters. I sent them one or two unrelated messages after the fact that went unanswered. I know that some buyers need to "man up" about things but I suppose my experience shows that some sellers need to as well.

[sachiel_ca]

Just went through one of these situations myself. A week of completely pleasant back and forth communication about condition, quality, completeness of items and me sending several extra pictures and then a final agreement on the deal. They sounded very happy to be getting the items. Then they followed up with the "can you hold it for a month" and "if I back out I'll let you know". Yep I know where this is going, never heard from them again. Mad, no don't have time for that. Annoying, yep. Like everyone has been saying just say I'm not going to be able to do it. No harm, no foul.