.........
all i can say is since you've obviously hit bottom,you can only go up from here.
that and seek counselling.
if you think your family/friends/etc have abandoned you,imagine what they'll feel or go through when you're gone and they get stuck with your decision.(losing you,paying for the financial side of you taking your life/etc).
i'd say you be the bigger person and reach out to them before you spiral down any deeper.
the fact that you're on here reaching out shows that you are still willing to change it up a bit and not take your own life(which would be a waste)
i myself have gone through some really twisted bullsh*t in the last bit here and it did help to post on here and helps to show you that you're not alone and there's others out there that have some really f*cked up lives/situations they have to go through too.
but to take your own life is admitting defeat and literally admitting that "they" were right.
there's going to be ups and downs throughout life,it's what you do to ride them out and smooth them out that determines your lifes direction after that.
if you need,just pm me
